Rhyme Time: Stupid Gangstalker Tricks

  Let’s All Go Shopping with Gang Stalkers

by SceneNSantaCruz

*FYI:  DH= Dear Husband

My husband went shopping the other day.
As usual gangstalkers got in his way.
Harassment and stalking is what they do best.
If bystanders get tipped off, they fail the test.

Gangstalkers try to cause maximum stress;
they compete with other bullies, out to impress.
The only way to move up in the gangstalking scene,
is to prove you’re the best at being Nasty and Mean!

Some of you will raise shoulders and shrug:
“who would want to be a low-level thug?”
Not your dream when you started school?
It’s ideally suited for those who are cruel.

I’ve exaggerated here, but not by much…
just poetic license for a humorous touch.
The years of harassment in ways that seem dumb
is so relentless, you eventually grow numb.

It’s deliberately ridiculous, so when you point it out,
your story will likely be met with doubt.
But in harassment, it isn’t the parts, it’s the sum.
Gangstalking sucks, so let’s have a little fun!

So back to my husbands shopping trip that day:
they were impatient for to him to get underway.
They waited outside, circling the block,
revving their engines, they were eager to stalk!

When DH (dear husband) finally gets in the car and hits the road
they fall in behind, flashing signals in gangstalker code.
Then they all turn on headlights for the day time ride,
in a truly mockable display of gangstalker pride!

DH drove round the block, parked, came back in.
Now they were angry; and he wore a grin.
An hour later, when he really left for the store,
the stalkers weren’t as happy as they’d been before.

When he parks his car and heads for the front,
its time for a classic gangstalker stunt!
When pissed off, stalkers pull out all the stops,
you’re bound to see some theatrical props.

A few rush ahead to beat him to the door.
The objective: settle a gangstalker score!
They were only following him on foot and by car
how dare he make them feel like the idiots they are.

So up ahead several stalkers now form a que,
to get into a store that’s not special or new.
The blind woman who drove her car here today,
taps with her white cane, and begins the delay.

The next guy’s backpack hits the floor,
spilling its contents right in the door.
Each item’s thoroughly examined, then put away
as he blocks the doorway, for his extended stay.

Sadly, the next one seems touched a bit!
She’d go inside, if her cart would just fit!
Never mind the door’s twice as wide,
she’s punishing the walls on either side!

Five minutes later DH gets through the door,
the stalkers are inside, but he’s followed by more.
For a flash mob, a large group isn’t unusual at all.
A widely distributed text notifies, via broadcast call.

Some gangstalkers will be where you are, almost every time.
Others only come when it’s convenient or prime.
They don’t always know each other on sight,
but they all know HARASSMENT isn’t legal or right!

Inside the store, one group heads off to set the next delay;
the rest follow my DH too close, deliberately get in his way.
gangstalkers try to strike the balance between subtle and rude,
while my husband goes about his business, shopping for food.

The group parked at the end of the baking and cereal aisle,
has turned their carts sideways, gangstalker style.
Large glasses and hoodies cover each face.
When the aisle is impassable, everything’s in place.

When my husband arrives, it should look unplanned:
just unaware shoppers, searching for a favorite brand.
Their phones are on vibrate, so when they get the call
10 simultaneous messages, won’t make a sound at all.

Then they all get a text message as my husband draws near:
“He’s coming you guys, get your asses in gear!”
It’s all fun and games up to this point,
but it won’t take much to break up the joint.

So ’round to the head of the aisle he came,
an unwilling participant in today’ stalker game.
He sees them waiting down at the end,
pretending to be shoppers, trying to blend.

But hiding their faces while they linger and lurk,
doesn’t say “shopper”, like it screams “Stupid Jerk!”
They are newbies… strange, suspicious, and so “not-cool.”
Their asses missed some classes in Gangstalker School.

When he first sees them they’re all averting their eyes,
thanks to that heads up from one of their spies.
He watches them as they suddenly busy themselves
appearing fascinated with the goods on the shelves.

 

They plan not to not to notice him when he gets near.
When he says “excuse me” they’ll pretend they can’t hear!
They’ll draw it out just as long as they’re able
or until some innocent customer arrives at the table

A few minutes later, when they finally let him get by
out will snake a gangstalker foot, ever so sly.
My husband is well aware of the awaiting score
we’ve both been through this many times before.

My husband looks at the trap that they’ve laid
someone didn’t get how the hand should be played
Those rookies are trapped between him and their carts,
in a clear display of missing tactical smarts.

DH took a deep breath, there was a tangible pause.
He wondered how dedicated they were to the cause.
What will they sacrifice to be a gangstalking star?
Then he speaks to them slowly, like the fools they are:

“I’m giving you a chance to get this right,
by the time I get down there you better be out of sight!
now get the damn shopping carts out of my way
Or… you can leave them there, and make my day!”

Suddenly my husband hunkers down low,
shopping cart in front, ready to go.
He’d filled it with canned goods for added weight,
and before they knew it, he was out of the gate!

He headed toward them picking of speed.
They moved surprisingly quickly, spurred on by need!
They could hardly forfeit this game fast enough!
They liked to play, but they hated it rough!

“Coming through!” The last warning was loud…
and the shopping cart, like a missile, parts the crowd!
They cleared the aisle in the nick of time,
leaving no blood, just the usual trail of slime.

Since no gangstalker got hurt today,
they all live to stalk another day..
And that means DH will get another chance
to make some gangstalkers, really dance.

And gangstalker, you stupid fool
you really think what you do is cool?
You can’t possibly think you are making the world great…
by spreading lies and stirring up hate.

Your insincere displays of gangstalker pride
are usually accompanied by a face that you hide.
And dear gangstalker, what you seem to not even know
is that on any importance scale, you rank very low.

If your job description includes “harass and hound”
if you stalk, lurk and follow people around,
you are apparently only valuable enough
for unimportant, uninformed, busy work stuff!

It is painfully obvious that if you were smart,
you wouldn’t be dogging my shopping cart!!

Dear readers, this is what its like for us, every day
constant harassment, by people that don’t go away.
They converge on us, wherever we go,
they hide in plain sight, putting on a show.

Annoying people may seldom cross your path,
but for gangstalked victims, it defies random math.
If you don’t believe this, or have any doubt
I’ve got a link to help you out:

fightgangstalking.com is where you should go
to learn everything about gangstalking, you need to know.

SceneNSantaCruz